Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist theorized that the ultimate number of meaningful relationships a person can maintain is 150. I know you're adding up people in your head right now. Not the good doctor thinks that number is directly related to brain size. So even though the internet opens the world for us, does it expand our Dunbar numbers?
The latest numbers estimate there are over half a billion websites one can decide to visit. So my little blog here is one among many, many, many.... I'm one little fish in a great big pond. Aren't we all? As little fish, I think it's important we make our little section of the pond as nice as we can. Fill it with friends, families and colleagues. Like the people you meet on IWSG, the list and the blog.
Do you ever feel like a little fish swimming in a great big ocean? Have your ever heard of the Dunbar number and do you believe it? Do you think the internet might expand that number? Are you ready to meet some more on this great list on other insecure writers?
36 comments:
The size of who we are as "fishes" depends on the lenses we are looking at ourselves from, and the angle.
I'm always open to meeting more people, especially writers like myself. =)
I often feel a bit overwhelmed by the internet. It can certainly be a huge time suck. I have to figure out a way to manage it better.
mood
Moody Writing
I feel less like a little fish in a big pond, and more just as one person among many (if that makes sense!). The writing community especially though is a great one to be in so I don't feel small at all.
Well, I didn't until I read this. LOL - kidding! Half a billion websites puts into perspective all of our efforts. I think the most effective way is to focus on each connection/friendship - one step at a time.
Actually, a hundred and fifty is really impressive. I was no where near that number until I got online.
Yes, I am just one small time author on the Internet. I do believe one person can make a difference though, so I keep trying.
Happy New Year, Susan.
150? Even with the Internet, I'm not sure you can have that many truly meaningful relationships. But it is now much easier to have friendships across the globe. Certainly made me think!
150? That....seems like a lot. I guess it depends on g=how you define "meaningful"! (Aaaaand now I sound like an introverted writer ;) )
I agree with you, though - IWSG does help make the pond feel like a welcoming place!
We are all little fishes in a big cosmic sea. And yes, I know about Dunbar. While I know more than 150 peeps, I can't know what they are up to on a daily basis - unless I browse my Facebook wall for hours a day, maybe. :)
I bet writers bring down that average number. ;)
I do realize that there are a ton of fish swimming, swimming out there. I find it takes the pressure off of me to remember that, personally. Phew-- if I write something stupid, it will be forgotten by the time the person moves on to the next bigger, better blog.
I sometimes feel like a small fish in a big sea, but most of the time I think that's better; it's the way I like it. It's easier to maintain my little corner of the ocean that way :)
Wow! 150? I think that's a large number for meaningful relationships. I have a lot of relationships with other people who I am happy to know, but the number of relationships that are truly meaningful to me is probably around twenty (without counting) and are reserved for family and close friends.
But with the internet you do have more chances to build more relationships with others.
Interesting post!
150 you say, hmm real life there may be umm 5 haha thankfully there is the internet
Depends on your definition of meaningful. I won't end relationship #151 because of someone's theory.
Kathy @ Swagger Writers
Glad to have jumped from my pond to yours!! 150? I'll have to throw some of my fish back!
I don't know how anyone maintained 150 "meaningful" relationships prior to the internet. There is only so much of YOU to go around. I have heard others say that most people can count their Close Friends on one hand. So, the key is in the interpretation of "meaningful." I have many blog friends who I admire, respect, and truly appreciate the interaction (despite never having met them). And I also have people that I feel the same way about in real life. Not sure those two numbers together equal 150. Hmmmm.
Yup! I'm definitely a little fish in any pond in which I swim. Plus I always have to be on the lookout for those dastardly sea monkeys. Glad your blog is such a nice place to swim about! lol!
I am a fish.
I am a tiny fish, but it's my ocean. I can make it as big or as small as I want. I guess what I am saying is we can choose to be overwhelmed with what is out there, or just...choose.
I suspect the internet doesn't expand the numbers, because they're about the amount of meaningful interaction you can sustain with people rather than your ability to contact with them. Having said that, it's probably a good thing, because that 150 isn't automatically all the people in the small pre-industrial hamlet we live in anymore, but people with the same sort of ideas and likes.
I've heard that about 150 people, but I'd be hard-pressed to name 20 important relationships in my life. And that's probably about the number of books I've sold...so perhaps what I've heard about the 150 people equaling sales is true. You're doing great for a little fish in a big ocean. "Just keep swimming." As Dory would say. :)
I don't mind being a little fish, either. I'm enjoying the swim no matter what size I am. I don't know about the Dunbar number, I've never "counted" my relationships. :-)
I often feel like a little fish. I think the number is different for everyone. I know people that struggle to maintain just one meaningful relationship. Others seemingly have endless friends. The internet did change it, especially for introverts.
I like being a little fish and 150 sounds like a reasonable number (maybe even a little high to me). Meaningul relationships require work to maintain - and time and energy & heart. So 150 can be a lot!
interesting statistic...but what if you are a shark with fish around you? I'm teasing. I try not to feel like a fish...it's just a "slippery" situation :)
That Dunbar number depends on how you define 'relationship'. Some people are gifted with the ability to maintain a far greater number and some, a lot less.
Maybe the Dunbar number is true, but I can't decide.
As for being a small fish in a big pond, I don't really worry about that. All I'm aiming to is to get as many people reading as possible. More than that is just out of my reach.
Never had heard that number, but I COMPLETELY disagree. I think we are what we train ourselves to become. I have at least 300+ relationships with bloggers whom I consider close friends, and in real life there a larger proponent of people. Granted, I've always been social, so I might be an outlier, but again, I think we are what we choose to become, and while that number may hold true for some, it's FAR from reality for others.
I'm inclined to think the number depends on the person. The Internet has opened up possibilities far beyond the reach we used to have, and I've read stories of people who've been in distress, turned to Facebook friends whom they've never met, and those friends have done whatever possible to help. I'm not sure when that study was done, but I'm thinking the old rules don't apply. :)
Like a drop in the pond, I'm hoping to widen my circles farther and farther.
I do not believe that number. Generally speaking, numbers like that are either arbitrary or based on someone's preconceived notions.
There's some new study (can't remember the name of the woman that did it) that has been going on and on about how humans are incapable of loving (romantically) more than one person at a time. What a foolish notion. By that same logic, I am incapable of loving more than one of children at a time.
However, there are a lot of fish out there.
I'd like to hear Dunbar's definition of "meaningful". It makes quite a difference, don't you think?
Never heard of the number. But I have 150 followers
Aloha Susan,
I've heard of the Dunbar numbers - but not exactly what it all meant, so that was interesting to learn.
I think, as I age (like cheap, boxed wine) I have less desire to make new, *real* friends, so I think I'm near my 150 - or I'm just getting cranky :)
PS: Thanks for the kind words on my blog - I really appreciate them:)
I drive the 405 freeway in So. Cal and feel like a little fish everyday. And yes, I was counting people up in my head. Good call.
I have not heard of the Dunbar number, but it is interesting. The internet has definitely opened up a lot more avenues of friendship for me and my world has completely expanded beyond what I ever could have imagined.
I hadn't heard of the Dunbar number, but 150 actually sounds like a lot of meaningful relationships. Yes, I often feel like a little fish.
The Warrior Muse
Ugh. I doubt I have 150 people that are so dear to me. I should start counting to see where my number falls.
I do think the internet opens much to us, but even when we use our names a lot of it still feel anonymous.
Happy 2014!
Leanne ( http://readfaced.wordpress.com )
Post a Comment